I opened up Sunday’s Parade Magazine and read an article about “The Mixed-Up Life of Shia LaBeouf” written by Dotson Rader. Shia is a 23-year old wildly successful actor who’s latest film is “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”. I saw the irony in the title of the article and the title of the movie.
Like many people, successful or not, Shia is searching to find his place in and the meaning of life. He is struggling with honoring his own authenticity and has no answers about who he is and what he is here to contribute. Already at such a young age Shia has achieved the holy grail of wealth and fame. So how can someone who has achieved so much, has the recognition and financial freedom most people long for, be in such emotional pain?
According to Rader, “I don’t handle fame well,” LaBeouf says. “Most actors on most days don’t think they’re worthy. I have no idea where this insecurity comes from, but it’s a God-sized hole. If I knew, I’d fill it, and I’d be on my way.” Already a self-proclaimed alcoholic, Shia says he doesn’t know what he’s doing as an actor or why people like him. Shia thinks acting is a con game of luck and ambition. Shia became an actor for the money only to discover that the money, abundant as it is, doesn’t satisfy the deeper fulfillment that can only come from self-awareness.
Shia’s total self-worth is wrapped in whether or not people on the street recognize him. He desperately seeks validation from the opinion of others. If the flame of fame is extinguished who would he be? If Shia believes that he is not worthy of the wealth and fame he has received then he will continue to self-sabotage until he has no more wealth and fame.
A person who self-sabotages has the mindset of a victim. If you’re identity and self-esteem is dependent upon others in any way then you live the life of a victim. A victim’s life can only be one of desperation and anxiety.
Victims do not take responsibility for their own life experiences. Victims surrender their personal power over to other people or other things. “It’s the economy, the glass ceiling, or ‘the system'” is a typical mantra of the victim. Something outside of them is the reason the victim lives a seemingly meaningless and often destructive life. Wallowing in feeling victimized can be appealing. Being a victim can be used to attract attention to oneself. If your self-worth is tied to the amount of attention you get from others then you have set the stage for a lifetime of victimization – mostly generated from yourself!
“I have never been contained except when I made the prison.” – Mary Evans, 1888-1976, British Actress
The moment you give up your personal power to someone else is the moment you become a victim of rather than the creator of your life. Each and every person has the power to create what he or she wants to be, do or have in life. How you show up in life determines your life experience.
People with a victim mentality feel powerless to make changes in their lives because they think that the elements of their lives are out of their control. People with a victim mentality often self-sabotage to provide further evidence of their victimization. A victim points at someone else or some other thing as being responsible for all his or her pleasure and/or anguish. People with a victim mentality think their actions are justified because of what others have done to them. What a victim does not realize is that he is only a victim to his own thoughts and belief system, not anyone else.
The victim shows up in life as a victim and is, therefore, victimized. If not by others then by himself. He becomes victimized by his own woefully misguided Inner Critic. The Inner Critic is a byproduct of your conditioning, compulsions and secret agendas. People who self-sabotage surrender to this inner tyranny. Such a victim is unable to see objectively into the nature of reality and into the nature of his own authentic inner being. When you are not fully conscious to what you are experiencing you won’t fully realize the extent to which negative impressions are infiltrating your life with which you are acting upon.
To transition from the life of a victim to the life of a powerful being who deliberately creates the life experiences she chooses you must discover and honor who you are at your innermost core. Your thoughts and actions must be in alignment with this truth. You must stand centered in this truth of who you are. Eliminating self-sabotage depends upon your integrity with your truth. You must end the internal war between what is often called your Higher Self and your Inner Critic with the Higher Self prevailing. You must take full responsibility for the life you live, appreciate the gifts in the lessons learned from your mistakes, and passionately pursue your authentic dreams for that is what you are here to do.
If you show up in your life in integrity and alignment with your authenticity I promise you a life of fulfillment and utter joy.
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss